Regardless of the opinionated posts that are fighting large battles that will never be won, short of the second coming, I do have some thoughts on motherhood and I thought I would share them with you. However, it's really all about my personal struggle and void of any judgement on anyone else.
I just have to say that motherhood is hard.
Like REALLY hard.
Perhaps I should say that EFFECTIVE parenting is hard.
The first year of motherhood was pretty easy on me (or perhaps it wasn't and I was just much better at pretending, which I have a sneaky suspicion was the case).
I now have two amazing daughters and I have realized that parenting is so much less about the child and what they are doing and more about what I am doing (or not doing) and how it is going to shape them. When I realized that, It changed everything. Sure, I have to break up wrestling matches and instruct my children when they are disobedient or in sin, but I have found the hardest part of motherhood is dealing with myself and my shortcomings. Coming to this conclusion has been a rude awakening for me.
Motherhood held up the most reflective mirror, I had peered in.
I don't always like what I see and when I don't like what I see, I don't like what I get in return, from my girls.
You see, I want to raise woman for Christ. Woman who are much more concerned with what their Lord, their family and their close friends think, then a vast sea of strangers. I want them to be content with little and joyful and giving with much. I want them to pick God before career and the Lords Will before stature, prestige, college diplomas and wavering interests.
I want them to be confident, not because they are a "woman" or because they can "do whatever a guy can do" or because they hang out with the right people or wear the newest outfit or because they don't. In fact I hope I raise girls that don't hinge any concern or worry on those things at all. Rather they are full of confidence because the Lord made them special and He has a plan. I want them to give and give often and then give more because the Lord gave.
If I want them to be these thing, I must be these things.
And that is why motherhood is hard. Because sometimes I stink at being some of these things.
But I must try to be each of these, each day. Even when I'm tired and even when all I want to do is drop them off somewhere, and have a break. I must press on and try to be that which I want to see.
Motherhood is a pretty grueling reflection but if I try my hardest, they might like who they see someday, when they look in that mirror.
Because they should. They are my precious daughters, the daughters I have fought for but far more importantly, they are daughters of the King.