talk amongst yourselves.




Sometimes I think conversation is dead. Don't tell me you haven't noticed or maybe you have and you're alright with it because you'd rather jump off a just-high-enough-to-break-your-legs-but-not-kill-you building, rather than shoot the breeze.  I understand, to a degree. {Recently I experienced a momentary epiphany {that zero people are likely to believe} that I may be an introvert, living in an extroverted shell.  But, more on that later.  Or never. Because it isn't going to make any sense at ALL.} 
At times I feel starved for conversation.  About nothing and something and maybe what seems to be utter nonsense merging with half-formed ideas.
I flush things out when I say them out loud to someone I trust and believe in and I did last night with my friend, Andrea. I sat in her bathroom, painting my nails and jumped right into the deep-end. And I intend to tomorrow evening, with my husband, on our date {I emailed him a heads up with topics of conversation, poor guy}.  And the next day and the next. My poor friends.
But really,  I need to talk. It's how I understand the world and you and me and the relevancy of almost anything.  Of course, I need to listen as well because I learn.  When I hear people expose explanations, intentions and promises, I grow, too.  And then a new idea comes. And a new one and on and on and on.
And when I do decide to share, it's as if I can't stop. I don't want to turn off the talking and go to bed.  I want a clock that freezes so we can follow where the story bleeds.

Because conversation is like connecting all of the random, small dots, in my mind.  They are so singualr until I talk.  And then they are all connected and I make sense to myself.

For those in my life who listen, I thank you.  You must think my mind is similar to a cluttered airport hanger, where you've had to learn to navigate through curves and turns.  Boxes piled high, filled with old files and confusing paperwork, but perhaps it's interesting. Or maybe you humor me.

Converse with me, if you please.
About anything or nothing.
I just want to talk and hear and get lost in words.
And leave with connected dots.


6 comments:

  1. i love that photo of those two lovelies.
    i love our conversations, especially the ones when i'm curling my hair and you're painting your nails in the bathroom.
    and most of all, i love you.

    xoxo,
    a

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  2. I Talk things to death it's how I process, so i get it. Call me and we'll talk! ;)

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  3. i have always found you to be lovely to converse with...

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  4. It's 3 am. I've been tossing and turning over 2 hours about significant things in my life. And how to live with these things...

    I so know the desire to flesh things out and wish I lived closer to my friends to do it in person.

    How in the world do we get to places of true freedom in deeply conversing?

    Why do we self protect? Should we be more wise with whom we talk? What about when we are betrayed? How do you heal?

    Happier notes...don't you miss the carefree days of childhood? What did you think life would be like? What has turned out most like your dreams? What are your dreams for your kids? How do you think the world is going to be when they are our age and look back?

    Well, these are silly. but I'm so glad to have something to do "in the wee small hours of the morning...while the whole wide world is fast asleep..."

    take care, friend,
    rach

    Why did we get to a place of thinking we would be satisfied to play a role of being loved by all and known by so few?

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  5. I'm posting this for a reader {Rachel Winn}:

    It's 3 am. I've been tossing and turning over 2 hours about significant things in my life. And how to live with these things...

    I so know the desire to flesh things out and wish I lived closer to my friends to do it in person.

    How in the world do we get to places of true freedom in deeply conversing?

    Why do we self protect? Should we be more wise with whom we talk? What about when we are betrayed? How do you heal?

    Happier notes...don't you miss the carefree days of childhood? What did you think life would be like? What has turned out most like your dreams? What are your dreams for your kids? How do you think the world is going to be when they are our age and look back?

    Well, these are silly. but I'm so glad to have something to do "in the wee small hours of the morning...while the whole wide world is fast asleep..."

    take care, friend,
    rach

    Why did we get to a place of thinking we would be satisfied to play a role of being loved by all and known by so few?


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  6. I have been watching Felicity (a confession of my love for the 90's and my general lameness, I know) and I have been struck by how that girl loves to talk. She's always saying,"can't you just stay for 5 minutes and talk?" or "do you want to talk about it?" I decided a couple of weeks ago that I need to be a better listener and that will probably make me a better talker. I want to say more of the right things and less of the blurty dumbness that so often spews from my mouth. I joke about my lack of internal filter but that really makes me bad at conversation and then I get anxiety about the dumb things I may potentially say. That's why I like writing so much. I love that delete button and wish I had one on my mouth. However, what kind of friend am I if I can't have a good old conversation with the people I love? So I have been slowing down, trying not to get ahead of myself, and not rehashing everything I said after the fact to see if it sounded obnoxious. It's so gratifying at the end of a good conversation to not regret anything. So, thank you Felicity, I guess. And thank you, Rachel...again.

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