my way or Gods way {expectations can be lame}.

Learning that my expectations are not usually going to collide with outcomes, is something the Lord is teaching me.  He's also teaching me that sometimes my expectations are misinformed, uneducated, laced with lack of experience and to be honest, dumb.

I guess that is the problem with some expectations {in regards to all sorts of situations}.  We assign them importance when they are created out of nothing.  Or worse-created out of something the Lord hasn't ordained, created or desired for our life.  Usually, when I find my expectations are built upon selfish desire, it doesn't have a satisfying outcome.  Never leading to anything beneficial.
Having some expectations is important, I feel.  It's just learning their origin, that's the tricky part.


Only three weeks in and I have already experienced it with homeschooling.  However, I prayed at the onset and asked the Lord to show me when I'm making homeschooling about me and not my kid.  Who is, afterall, the reason why we are homschooling.

But I see that if I let my expectations lead my emotions, I will fail.
Like the other day when I had planned out four days worth of amazing stuff, art projects, reading, yadayadayada.
And I get to the end of the week and we did maybe 45% of it.  And my house isn't spic and span like normal or....and the list goes on.

I knew that Satan would try to make me feel like a failure when I desperately wanted to finish the story to Kensington but Frankie won't.stop.screaming.

My expectations could easily be stacked on a foundation of wanting Kensington to be brilliant or desiring people to think that I'm great at this whole "educate your own child" thing.
But the truth is....

Those expectations are selfish and they'll fail.
Just like the expectations you may have for your child and sports.  Or for yourself and your business.  Or for your marriage.

When I am led by expectations, it's always a dead end.
But when I'm led by the Lord, there is always an opening for my heart to be full and joyful.


And it is.
Because even though we didn't do half of what I set out to accomplish, this week....
Kensington is still a champ.
I'm still her mom.
Life goes on.
She'll learn to read, at some point.
The earth keeps spinning on its axis and
hey.....at least I taught her one of the most important things, anyhow:


7 comments:

  1. Amen!

    That is the beauty of homeschooling - you are not on any schedule but your own and you can make up missed lessons and activities at night with Dad, on a Saturday or even on Thanksgiving morning!

    I have been homeschooling for 7 years - through three pregnancies, three newborns, a miscarriage, moving, a PhD for my husband, countless illnesses, learning disorders, behavior issues, and my own laziness.

    And you know what? The Lord filled in EVERY SINGLE GAP!

    Eternal perspective ... we have to keep it. Do everything as unto the Lord. (We want our children to love Jesus but we also want them to be able to SPELL Jesus.) Do not worry about the approval or applause of men. Just because your neighbor or sister or best friend is doing XYZ - who cares? You keep doing your LMNOP and trust the Lord to navigate you through it all.

    You will fall in love with it more every year - interrupted days and perfect days alike.

    Everything takes time to adjust to and I guarantee that by spring you will wonder why you ever spent a moment worrying or lamenting. :o) Scouts Honor!

    And more and BETTER than all of that ... the Lord called you to this, this thing called homeschooling, and when He calls us - He EQUIPS us!

    Amen?

    A M E N!

    Love you,
    M

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    Replies
    1. Thanks for this, M.
      I always know you will hear my perspective and encourage me, even if you have dealt with the same feelings and since moved on.

      You are a homeschool warrior and I admire you!

      Love you too!

      Delete
  2. love this line; if I let my expectations lead my emotions I will fail.

    love that. so true and so profound. loved this post.

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    Replies
    1. And fail I do.
      But grace comes, does it not?
      Amen!

      Delete
  3. Once again, you've hit it right on the head, Rachel. Yes. I agree: when my expectations come from a selfish place within, they rarely produce the results I was hoping for. But oh, what happens when I put it in God's hands and let Him take it from there ... amazing!

    Love your words.

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    Replies
    1. Don't you think we would see that? That if we rely on our selfish feelings, it would only end bad? But we keep doing it!
      Argh!

      Delete
  4. Yes. I was thinking about this on the heels of reading Almost Amish. My expectations are not simple. They are mostly insane. Definitely not driven by faith. I thank the Lord that he takes the time to let me fall flat on my face regularly to remind me that all awesome comes from Him.

    ReplyDelete