what's one to do? {knowing when to step forward}


I'm learning that it's hard to have a personal and passionate interest, that you love, these days.
I'll tell you what kind of interest I'm talking about.
The type where you suddenly get a burn in your gut when you talk about it.  You love it.  You think about it often.  You want to talk about it but don't because you don't want to bore every man, woman and child, in the room.  It's on your mind and it's on your heart.

But here is the thing.
It's hard to have an interest that you love, these days.

It's hard because, if you are like me {and in the same life-stage as myself}, it's going to be very difficult and sacrificial, to do anything about it.  It's hard because you see plenty of people taking their interests and turning them into full blown careers and amazing collaborations.  It's difficult to watch that, while you know that the Lord isn't calling you.  It's all about the Lord calling. I've learned it has nothing to do with the mommy wars or people being less of a wife if they have a career.  I'm really over that rhetoric. No.  This is totally about if the Lord is calling and pulling you towards something or not.
He may very well be calling others towards something, but He isn't calling me.  That's a bit hard.  It's hard to not move forward in a society that can propel you, quickly, towards wherever you want to go-in minutes.

I have a husband, kids and I'm a homeschooling mom.
I'm busy with the things of life and mopping the floors and I have an etsy shop, filled with vintage, which is fun for me to do in my spare time {oh wait...I haven't loaded any new product in about a month.  Oooops!}.  I have wonderful friends I want to keep up with and BBQ's with my family and dinners to cook.  I have books to read and children to raise, feed and educate.  People to chat on the phone with and fun coffee dates with the ladies.  I have church functions and art classes for Kensington and lazy pajama days to consume and enjoy.
It's all so much and so it's difficult to think of adding something else on.  Even if it is something I love so very much.
Truly.

So, I suppose I'm just realizing that at times you have to lay things down. You have to lay down interests you have, for a season. 
It really is o.k.  It is well with me.  But it's a bit of a pinch.
It's just hard to wonder why God gave me a passion, when at times, I feel like I can't do anything about it.

Oh, and the passion is politics.
So, that's that.


23 comments:

  1. The good news is that your passion will always been needed!

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    1. That's right!
      You always make me feel a bit better, don't you know!?

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  3. Are you tired of me saying "I get this?" because I feel like I'm being so annoying...but I really do understand.

    When I was trying to decide whether or not to homeschool, I realized I was going to have lay down my passion of serving women in Bible studies. I loved it so very much. In my case, I don't know if I will ever get back to doing that...or want to. But I agree with your friend above, your passion will always be needed!!

    xoxo

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    1. I'll never be tired of you saying that!
      It makes me feel more normal and makes me happy that someone can identify!
      We're in this together, twin!

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  4. this was a great reminder for me...thanks for sharing!

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  5. I kind of feel like I'm in between on this. Like I am truly discovering/delving into my passion and it feels like what I am being called to do....but on the flip side I am still finding the 'value in the valley of waiting' while it seems others have shot up to the mountain top. (does that even make sense?)
    I'm grateful to have the ability to do all the things I have been, be a wife, make a home, raise my kids and be a good friend and still pursue my dreams and career and I don't think I would be (or women for that matter) are any less if they don't immediately pursue their passion the moment it strikes them to.

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    1. You are so right-people {men and woman alike} need to feel they are just as valuable, even if they don't go and "make something of themselves". You are wise to know that and I'm so happy you are feeling the Lord blessing this season in your life. It's cool for me to watch too-you are dynamite, Amber!

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  6. we could be fast friends...i get this...this is my song.
    two things though, i recently met a guy who used the phrase, "being faithful to what God calls us to.", several times and it stuck with me. being faithful to now to this life. the other thought, today a girlfriend was telling me a bout a sermon recently preached at her church about "singing a new song and choosing a new song" to let go of the old tired song and pick up a new one. powerful word pictures.

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    1. It's so simple to know that, in my mind, but hard in practice. Thank you for reminding me that my only REAL calling is to be faithful to what He has for me. Now.

      Thank you, Nicole!

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  7. Maybe God is just preparing your heart for the next season. Maybe He is preparing others also for when that time comes. In our "fast food" world, it is hard to remember to slow down, to get ready first. Just remember, it will be later soon.

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    1. I like this, Verna. It IS hard to become prepared first. Maybe God has several years of preparing. Maybe He is preparing me for something I have NO idea about. His ways are NOT our ways-Amen!

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  8. oh, you sound so much like me! I have a burning passion for missions and God has kept that door firmly closed for now. I want to rush ahead and make things happen but I know that if it isn't in His perfect timing, it will be all for nothing. It's hard to wait. But I think of Sarah in the Bible and how much she doubted until finally it came down to this: "she judged Him who promised to be faithful". He's faithful. He gives us passions for a purpose. And at "the appointed time, Sarah gave birth..." It's all about the appointed time. and that can be so hard to wait for.

    love you!

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    1. Oh friend, this made my heart more calm. Instead of being disappointed, I will choose excitement. I have so much to look forward to-the Lord's timing is perfect-and I have so much to enjoy, in the present.
      Amen!

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  9. I get it, fully and completely! When I was in the midst of nursing school, after the long and competitive road of pre-requisites, perfect grades, and hard praying for an acceptance letter upon my initial application, I just left. People thought I CRAZY, like crazy-crazy. My peers didn't understand, my professors thought I was throwing away everything, family was baffled, and I, I was just being called to have more babies. Something inside said it was time and I wasn't meant to do both. So I walked in one morning explained myself to my professor before clinical rotations, drove back to school and spoke to the dean, and haven't stepped foot on campus since. Some days are still hard...medicine is my passion. I want to work in the field, I want to change it, make it better. But my calling is here, right now, at home with these precious lives we've created. And those classrooms, labs, hospital rooms, and patients, it will happen someday.

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    1. Melissa,
      I admire your choice so very much. Not because you chose to stay at home {although I find that very admirable, obviously}, but because you didn't listen to the push back. You knew what God wanted and you DID.
      Kudos, my friend!!!!

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  10. sometimes it's hard to lay those things down. especially when God wants us to, since in our flesh don't we always want to do the opposite? ;) i've gone through those seasons before i laying things down that you're excited and passionate about. but it's during those times that God does a lot of work in you so it makes it worth it.

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    1. You're right-the times I am required to sacrifice the most, I gain the most, in return!

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  11. Wow, I so hear you on this. You wonder why God places this passion on your heart if it's not "to be." I get it. But perhaps it's, as they say, not "never"...it's just "not now."

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  12. One day the kids will be grown up and you'll probably be free to e.g. study politics and be a politician. I mean look at the age of politicians ;) It may be the best thing you can do for now, to raise your kids and give them all of your attention and time :)
    So many moms would love to be able to do this but unfortunalety they can't. Moreover every peron is different. There're moms who are so well organized and have such character that they can take care of their passions and the kids and house etc. at the same time, many can't, including me, and that's fine. I am studying at university and have two kids and it's hard. I wish I'd have a "free mind" for them. I am looking forward to finish my study, although I love it very much, to be the mom I want to be. There's a season for everything, God willing. Greetings from Germany

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    1. Yes, there truly is a season for everything and I'm waiting for God to show me what season he has me in.
      Thank you, Maria!

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