"They" {those big-time blog guru's out there} say never press a post but I've been trying for the last hour, all the same. Not because anyone has a pressing urgency to hear what I have to say, obviously. I've been trying so hard because often I need to write it out in order to understand it. Maybe that's backwards.
I'm not going to keep trying, I'm just going to lay it out there with authentic simplicity and no candy coated, re-edited wording.
This life is such a mix of beauty and devastating heartache.
Not even 10 days into this new year I have sat at dinner with the closest of friends, laughing uncontrollably. I've received letters from people cross country, sharing daily joys and I've hugged people in my family, after being able to shed a tear over great news. I sit by a fire at home, and watch my darling girls play. I spend time with the people I love. I bake, cook, teach and live. I watch interactions of grandparents with their grand babies and I get sweet texts from good people.
Not even 10 days into this new year and I've learned of two suicides, a cancer diagnosis within the family, unemployment of two relatives, a friend who is unable to get pregnant and a confidant that is struggling desperately, with depression. Girlfriends that have hard choices to make and people who need finances to untangle so they can adopt a baby, buy a house, purchase a much needed car or just go to the grocery store.
It's beauty and breaking glass.
It's perfection and sickening silence.
When life is presented as this stark, you get down to brass tacks and stop fiddling with stupid ideals and trite sayings. You get back to basics and what you know is truth. Your gaze is no longer foggy and often we are met with embarrasment with how much time we spend on mindless and meaningless pursuits.
Death, sadness and consequence keep us authentic.
Love, joy and contentment keep us alive.
Through it all, I once again am reminded that Christs love and my pursuit to represent it are all that I really have, all that I am assured and all that I can count on. Never to leave, fail or falter.
Assurance of salvation, true love and eternity are the only things that bring me comfort in the deepest dark and the only things that allow happiness and daily joy to make sense.
Without the events that drop us to our knees we would never know our need of a Savior.
Without the events of indescribable happiness, we would never know full beauty, born from Christs love.
To that end, I will conclude what I simply know.
This is life.
Two destinations on the spectrum, with which we will oscillate between, our entire lives.
Our choice is in the adaptation of constant belief.
I believe that Christ is there, in the shredding and in the blooming.
Just grab hold and believe.
Please.
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